2 – Natural Pregnancy
How to Choose Your Birth Team for Best Outcome? Part 2
In part 1, we covered choosing the place of birth and how to make a list of names of caregivers and doulas you would want to meet in person and interview.
Choosing your caregiver
Pregnant woman in the doctor's office!
So when you have a few names, make an appointment to TALK. Even if (most likely) they are going to charge you a visit, use the time to ask your “what if” questions. Be precise. For example: What if I don’t want an episiotomy? What if I don’t want drugs? What if I want to keep my baby on my chest, skin-to-skin after birth? What if I want my husband, my sister and my doula with me at the time of birth? What if I want the epidural but I am at 9 or 10 cm already? What if I want to give birth in water? All your personal preference questions need to be asked ahead of time. In fact, the way the caregiver reacts to your enquiries WILL give you the best hint on how understanding and patient he/she is; how flexible and respectful of you he/she is, and that will make a huge difference at the time of birth. If they avoid the question(s) and say things like: “Oh, we will see when we are there” or “Oh, you don’t need to worry about that”. Be aware! The communication is not going to be easier as time goes…
Here is a simple example. It is not uncommon to hear the caregiver answer: “That is up to the pediatrician to decide”, regarding questions about the baby in the immediate after birth. The thing is, I have never seen a pediatrician AT the birth. NICU nurse? Yes, when there is a reason for specific health concern, Neonatology nurse? Yes, if the baby is more then 2-3 weeks premature. But a pediatrician? Huh, huh. They visit once a day, usually do a routine newborn exam in the nursery (at the same time as they see their other baby-patients) and sign the discharge paper for your baby to go home. So who decides for example if you can keep your baby on your chest skin-to-skin for a couple of hours after birth? (Click here for information on why you would want that). Sometimes, it could be “routine” for that place of birth (yes, there is hope), then you would know when you tour the facility. Most often, it is up to YOU to make the request from the beginning and continue until the baby is born (that is one reason, you want to have an advocate that can speaks for you when you are busy giving birth. Best choice would be your partner, second best choice, your doula (or who ever will play that supportive role for you).
Nurse-midwife attending a home water birth.
Most caregivers, docs and midwives are very nice people, they love their job for sure but they don’t always have all the information. Remember that nowadays, OB/GYN doctors are trained as surgeons. They use models to train for complications in vaginal delivery. Their midset and automatic response is to emergency, danger and something going wrong… And we are grateful that these skills save lives everyday! BUT, in absence of threat, maybe you and most importantly YOUR BABY deserves a chance to enter the world peacefully with the least interventions, undisturbed for a “thriving” start rather than a stressful, fight or flight setup that they will keep for the rest of their lives!
So it is up to you to ask the difficult questions NOW so you can make the best choice, the team that makes you feel most comfortable. Because the big secret about an easy, uncomplicated labor is COMFORT. I mean “comfort” as in “the opposite of conflict”, or being at ease with the place, the situation and the people around you . At the end, you want to be surrounded with love, respect and most of all trust. Trust in you, the human body (yours and the baby) and the Grand Design that orchestrates it all!
Special thanks (gracias especial) to my friends Doris and Samara who were the caregivers of Martha and Francisco for the birth of their second child, Francisco Zaid in Monterrey, May 11, 2012!
Link to “How to Choose Your Birth Team PART 1: The Birth Place”
Link to ”How to Choose Your Birth Team PART 3: Sample questionnaire”
Continue reading How to Choose Your Birth Team for Best Outcome? Part 2
No B.S.: Having The Birth You Want Takes Work! Part 2
In last week’s blog, we discovered why it takes concentrated effort to get the birth you want! So what do you do? Where do you start?
Time for some practical answers!
First, let’s reframe… ’cause no one wants or needs more work, right? In my one-on-one classes, I always use the word “PLAY” in stead of “work” as in homeplay (instead of homework) because of the heavy emotional charge of the word “work” (same as “labor” by the way).
Deep belly breathing is a calming and grounding!
So here is some homeplay for you: you can make it fun and light!
- Do your research! Read books (see our bookstore for my personal preferences and recommendations) or find lots of info online: read the articles on this site (back pain relief, hot bath guidelines, epidural side effect, self-hypnosis, etc.) or use the search box with key words and check out the links to other great website we like.
- Talk to your husband, decide what you want and commit to it! We are going to call that “The Birth You Want” or TBYW
- Organize your “support people” around TBYW. Choose a caregivers that supports your vision and will be there to hep you rather than impose a routine medical model on you. Interview and hire a doula that supports TBYW.
- Write a detailed birth plan: not too long but covering labor, birth and immediate after birth thinking about what is best for the baby’s best start.
- Choose a childbirth preparation program that empowers you, provides additional information and teaches you skills that are in agreement with TBYW. In doubt, go back to what made you decide on “that” birth in the first place.
- Find and commit to a regular (that means minimum once a week) “grounding” practice like yoga (prenatal or gentle), tai chi chuan, qigong, meditation or others… Breathing is an integral part of all these ancient practices and, yes, also an integral part in the process of grounding! (I am working on an article with video demos on pranayama- the ancient art of breathing life force).
- Set 10-15 minutes every day to connect with your baby in the womb. Use your imagination, gentle touch, talking, singing, even reading to your baby. Even more fun to do together with your husband or life partner.
Ten minutes a day of "baby connect": make it fun and playful!
- Self-hypnosis, guided imagery relaxation, Quantum Focusing® and visual daydreaming are all very beneficial in learning how to find your place of inner peace within and relax deeply any time you wish. I teach many “mindfulness” and centering fun and easy practices in my childbirth preparation program called “Quantum Birthing”. For a weekly (or even daily) practice, in bed at night or any time during the day download the free mp3 available on this website.
Try some of these, add your own ideas, let me know how it works for you…
Happy Pregnancy!
Continue reading No B.S.: Having The Birth You Want Takes Work! Part 2
No B.S.: Having The Birth You Want Takes Work! Part 1
Why do you have to WORK on having the birth you want?
It’s not a question, it’s actually an answer! I just wanted to get it out right upfront: if you want something different, unconventional and empowering for the birth of your child…, it is going to take preparation and dedicated time and effort from the moment you know you are pregnant!
Imagine, daydream, plan and relax!
When I say it is going to be “work” what I mean is that, there is a certain amount of ACTION required. It is not physically demanding (not more than the normal changes occurring in any pregnant body!), it is more of a conscious decision and willingness to “find out” -information-, research -more information- and practice -relaxation, self-hypnosis, yoga or other mind/body techniques- on a consistent basis.
Why, you asked?
1) Because the “full” information is not that easy to get. The so-called, believed experts are not in a full disclosure mode for what ever reason. And the information you do get may be very confusing, one person contradicting the other. It could be very upsetting in a way that it doesn’t make sense to you. So, you the consumer have to ask the questions, be curious and be willing to search and sort through the jungle of information to find what is right FOR YOU! And that is work!
2) If you are reading this post, you are likely very “unconventional”, going against the flow in most of your important life decision, right? Well if “the flow” is not satisfying to you, than going the opposite direction is the right way FOR YOU, isn’t it? Unfortunately, you know (or even have experienced), when you do things “differently”, when you take the road less traveled or get somehow above the crowd, they always want to bring you back down. So, you probably WILL encounter critics, negative comments and judgments. You are going to need support people (hopefully you life partner and family) and you are going to need some (maybe new) skills to stay grounded and confident in the midst of all that turmoil… And that is work!
3) Last of all: YOU! You are your worst enemy in this situation as in any situation! Your self-doubt and old fears (or new fears) and perhaps also the ones you picked up along the way from friends and family are going to “get to you”. What I called the “monkey” mind: the little voice inside your head that always brings you down, judges and criticizes when you have some beginning of a success… The monkey mind is going to scare you and will make you want to give up. There are techniques and practices that help you quiet it down and reconnect with that inner wise part of you, and empowers you… And that definitely is work!
Keep in your mind the wonderful picture of why you are doing all this and putting this much effort for these 9 monhs! Your beautiful baby deserves the best of your attention and dedication. Remember, the quality of life in the womb does make a difference in the adult life, research is proving it!
See you next week for Part 2: The Practical Answers!
Continue reading No B.S.: Having The Birth You Want Takes Work! Part 1
Five Tips to Create a Sacred Space
Butterflies, and pretty art for your space
No matter what your religious beliefs are or your philosophical inclination in life, it is quite well accepted now-a-days that taking some time for yourself every day has great health benefits and improves your contentment in general. It can even improve your clarity of mind and speed up your decision making.
When a woman is pregnant, it is of great benefit for both mom and baby to dedicate some of that time to create a special bond, a psychic connection or telepathic conversation with your baby in the womb… What ever appeals to you most. You may call it praying, meditating, day dreaming or quiet sitting; your choice! The name is unimportant! What matters is DOING it!
To make it easier for you and your family, it helps to practice always at the same place and about the same time of the day. The people around you will learn not to bother you or call you at those times. Also, objects do carry an energy; so surrounding yourself with meaningful objects of beauty will support you in your practice. You will look forward to that time to sit in your “Sacred Space”, and you will feel the familiar support of the objects there, time after time.
So here are five tips to help you start a practice or make yours even easier to keep!
- Make your sitting experience a comfortable one. There is nothing wrong in sitting on a straight back chair with your hands on your lap. If you can sit crossed legs, it helps open the pelvis (good practice for birth), but make sure your knees are on the floor and your buttocks a little higher than your knees. You could slide a rolled blanket under, for example.
- Create a space that can remain yours at all times. For example, set a small table or a short shelf. Pick a beautiful cloth with pretty colors to cover your table and set on it items of significance to you: a flower, a crystal or a pretty stone from somewhere you visited and had fun, a fragrance like essential oil or incense, a small water fountain, a statue, … There are many symbols for many different culture that may be of importance to you. Just think of objects that make you smile inside as out!
- Pick a special candle you like for its color(s) and for its scent. Place it in a safe container big enough to protect the cloth and everything around it. Light it when you are ready to start, it will energize and enlighten your whole space. Never leave a burning candle unattended!
- You can play soft music if you like. At the beginning, it may help to play the same piece for 21 days so that the music will carry your mind automatically to your place of peace… Speeding up the “connection” process if you would!
- To quiet your mind and shift from the outside world to the inside world, a simple yet very efficient way is to take a few deliberate breaths through your nose and exhale very, very slowly through your nose also. For example, you could inhale to the count of 3 and exhale to the count of 6 (or 4-8), or whatever works for you as long as the exhale is longer than the inhale. Practice until you notice a quietness of the regular flow of thoughts and a sense of peace within you.
Crystals that appeal to you...
Aromatic candle, flower, pretty colors and sensual aromas, enhance the energy in your sacred space and help you discover that place of peace within where you can meet your baby. Now, you may start your private encounter with your Self, and your baby’s Spirit!
How Can Hypnosis Help You Prepare for Childbirth?
Most people when they hear the word “hypnosis” automatically assume it is like the stage hypnosis show they remember from College or that trip to Vegas.
Hypnosis used for childbirth or to change an unwanted behavior is simply a natural state of highly focused awareness usually achieved by deeply relaxing body and mind. It is a simple tool that allows you to bypass the critical conscious mind and access the subconscious mind where positive changes can be implemented easily.
You may not know this but we are all in different states of hypnosis along the day and switch back and forth all the time. This happens automatically. Remember driving your car on the way home and getting there “already”. You lost track of time and you were lost in thoughts but someone was driving the car, we call that auto-pilot; that is the performance of your subconscious mind.
So hypnosis is a very normal state of being that, when practiced regularly and skillfully, increases your self-confidence, your sense of control over your perceptions and your connection to that something greater then all, that doesn’t judge and only loves, that source of All that Is, what ever you choose to call it! Hypnosis practice has the potential to provide you with the pain free childbirth you and your baby deserve, it has the potential to heal emotional and physical trauma (say from previous experiences), and it has been widely and successfully used within the medical community for many years.
When Karyn and Craig from TurningLife.com were expecting their first baby, they knew they wanted something special. They intuitively knew there was something more to it than what friends and neighbors were telling them! I am so glad they found me and the “Quantum Birthing” program.
Listen to what they have to say:
Continue reading How Can Hypnosis Help You Prepare for Childbirth?
De-Stress Breathing for Healthier Pregnancy and Calmer Baby!
As a yoga instructor of over 30 years, I am a strong believer in “conscious breathing” to alleviate most effects of daily stress. Once you become aware of which part (or parts) of your body move with each inhale, and which part(s) move when you exhale, you begin to access the mental “place” of controlled breathing. You can begin to alter the length of you inhale and/ or exhale. gaining control of your breathing, means mentally, regaining control of your life!
Training yourself into becoming aware of this very natural process can actually decrease stress effects on your body and mind. When you start being aware of you breathing pattern, it opens doors to positively influencing your health, your mood, and general alertness.
The ancient teachings of the “Vedas” describe an art called “Pranayama”. “Prana” in Sanskrit means not only breath, flow but also, life force, energy; the life force carried by the flow of breath.
When you carry a new life in your womb, it is commonly heard that you eat for two (that being true or not is another debate), but I like to say you are breathing for two. Two living being need more life force than one, right?
So here is a very simple way to consciously shift your breathing pattern from tension and stress (shallow, upper chest breathing) to a deeper, lower belly (or abdominal) breathing that will help you slow down and relax during your pregnancy and help slow down the rhythms of your baby too. As a bonus, learning abdominal breathing is probably going to be the most helpful tool for pain control (and pain relief) in childbirth.
Here is a short video describing the movements of the diaphragm when you practice abdominal breathing; I call it “Belly Breath”!
Choose a chair or stool that will allow you to sit with your back straight (It is alright to stick a pillow or two behind your back). To help increase your awareness, you may close your eyes and place one hand on your lower belly (your thumb and forefinger making a half-circle around your belly button) and the other hand resting gently on top of your upper chest. This one is not suppose to move much if at all.
Start we a gentle exhale and feel the bottom hand on your belly going in toward your spine, gently. Now draw in a slow deep breath through your nose and feel your bottom hand pushed outward as the abdominal muscles relax and expand (your lungs are then filled to the fullest allowing for longer gas exchanges, detoxing and energizing all the vital organs and your baby). At the end of your inhale, shift into slowly letting out the breath, also through your nose and feeling your bottom hand drawn in toward your spine. The movements are gentle and flowing with NO WITHHOLDING the breath more than a couple of seconds, when pregnant.
Find a comfortable pace that you can easily sustain and continue the practice for up to 5 minutes, two to three times a day. You cannot over do it, it will not hurt you or your baby to practice more as long as you stay comfortable. Soon, you may notice that the pace of your automatic breath have changed and perhaps your level of energy has increased. Those are very common effects of deep abdominal breathing. It may also lower your blood pressure and decrease or increase your appetite depending on what your particular situation is. “Belly Breath” may also turn out to be one of the most efficient “tools” to help you reduce the pain in childbirth.
Let me know how it works for you…
Continue reading De-Stress Breathing for Healthier Pregnancy and Calmer Baby!
Self-Hypnosis vs Guided Visualisation and Relaxation?
Hypnosis is getting more and more popularity as an effective method to help in loosing excess weight or quit smoking, thanks to shows like Dr OZ! So what about learning self-hypnosis to prepare for a more comfortable childbirth?
There are several programs available (also gaining popularity) and yet, many women (and their families and caregivers) still are reluctant due to lack of information, misinformation or misconception of what hypnosis really is.
First of all, all we need to do is shift into a different state of awareness in which the subconscious mind is more responsive to positive suggestions. In slower brainwave frequencies, it is easier to (re)connect with that part of you that is unlimited, fearless and has all the answers. I call it the “Master Self” or “Divine Self”, you may call it “Soul” or something else -what ever feels right to you. If you are thinking, that is what prayer do, you are correct. Except that most people have forgotten how to pray (that could be the subject of a different post).
So, what is hypnosis? It is a natural, normal state of focused alertness often reached or accompanied by a deeper state of physical relaxation and slower breathing. A state that you “visit” everyday like when you drive home on “auto-pilot”, get “lost” in a great book or daydream and loose track of time. So, you already know what it feels like, all you need is to re-discover a controlled way of reaching the state that allows you to re-program your pain perception.
As you may have noticed, pain is all about perception and interpretation. Pain sensation is very personal and varies tremendously from person to person. Ever noticed how the same bathwater temperature may feel so cold to one person and so warm, or even too hot to another? 
To modify the “pain perception” settings of your brain and the way your body physiologically responds to pain, physical relaxation and visualization may not be enough. It may feel good, decrease your stress level and help you sleep better but to minimize or eliminate childbirth pains, you need to be able to reach deeper states of highly focused awareness. For most people it is a process that can be learned with practice, tested with experience and then kept for the rest of their life!
There are 3 major components in self-hypnosis for pain relief. You need powerful “Painkiller tools” and the time to learn and practice them so they become automatic and efficient when ever you need them and especially in “crisis” situations. Second, you need to align all aspects of your being (physical, emotional, mental and spiritual) in total agreement with your idea of birth free of fear, free of doubt. And third, create the positive outcomes as future memories of your ideal birth.
The program I teach has all those components (and more)… It is called “Quantum Birthing”! The next generation in childbirth preparation; in a way that changes your life forever!
Continue reading Self-Hypnosis vs Guided Visualisation and Relaxation?
The art of bathing when pregnant!
Or How to transform your bathing experience into a re-programming for easy childbirth
Most of us, at one point or another, have enjoyed the transforming experience of a warm bubble bath to unwind after a stressful day. But when you are pregnant the “bath ritual” can become so much more for you and your baby.
Here are 5 tips to enhance your bath experience in all safety and take it to the next level of mind re-programming:
1) Temperature
First thing first; all caregivers tell you to avoid too hot water for your bath too (and they are correct in the sense that when your body temperature increases, it can send a signal to your baby that something is wrong –like a fever would do if you had an infection.) But I have noticed some of my clients are so afraid that draw their bath too cold. If you are unable to enjoy your time or unable to stay for more than a few minutes because you are cold, that to me defeats the purpose of relaxation. So the key, as always, is comfort. Draw the bath hot enough to relax comfortably but not so hot that it makes you sweat or gives you red cheeks. Keep in mind you can always add more (hot or cold) when in your bath. Also make sure the temperature in the room is adequate (a little warmer than the rest of the house!)
Deep relaxation maybe easier to achieve in a warm bath!
2) Quantity of water
Again looking for maximum comfort, your belly as well as most of your body has to be covered –shivering from cold air is not conducive to relaxation! You could adjust the level of water when you are in it if your tub design allows it or take a regular hand towel, put it in the warm bathwater and than pull it over your belly, chest and shoulders… It will keep you warm for 10 minutes or longer!
3) Scents and bath products
Most people don’t know that the largest organ in the body is… the skin! The skin is a living, renewing, ABSORBING, and expelling organ. It breathes, it eliminates and it absorbs. We really should think twice on the quality of the ingredients we put on our skin. It can serve us or it can create an extra load for our body to eliminate the strange unknown chemicals found in many of the regularly accepted skincare products. Also, what goes on your skin, goes in your blood therefore reaches your growing baby too! An easy, sounds crazy but real, rule of thumb is that if you could eat it (and I am not saying to do that) but if you could eat it, it is safe to use on your skin and in your bath. Fresh and L’Occitane are 2 brands I have personally used and trust. Many hand made, organic products or natural sea salts products are now available everywhere. I also do my own blends of essential oil that I use in bath water: geranium/rose & lavender is very calming and safe for all (just 10 drops of each under the running water).
4) Time Frame
Allowing for plenty of time before and especially after the actual “dipping and soaking” time is a great idea as you want your unwinding/re-programming to continue for a bit. The soaking time is of course to your liking but something around 15-20 minutes is a good average. This is a good time to breath, daydream of your life with this baby or just to listen to soothing music. Refrain from planning your week or making your shopping list; not part of relaxing! Have a glass of water and a light snack close by in case you get hungry or for right after you get out of the tub.
5) Adding Mindful Dimension
If you have a relaxation or meditation CD, you can listen to it as you soak in your soothing bath. Practicing your relaxation can be easier in a warm bath especially as you begin with the program. Visualization and self-hypnosis techniques become more and more powerful with repetition. Using them regularly when you bathe increases the depth of your re-programming, and the bath itself becomes a “bookmark” for relaxation first, then a “bookmark” for the state of mind your are becoming familiar with. A state of relaxed awareness, of focused relaxation and mindful re-programming of what YOUR birth experience will be like when the time is right.
What else do you personally enjoy when you take a relaxing bath?
When Birth goes “Quantum”: Painfree Birth is Possible!
You don’t have to be a rocket scientist to know that the way we look at life has changed tremendously in the past, say, 10-20 years! Quantum physics principles and daily applications are popping up every now and then and just remind us that we are not only made of this flesh and bone stuff; that beyond what our eyes perceive there are living cells made of molecules and atoms, and if we continue our magnification process, we discover a whole new world where the electrons and little packs of energy are either here or there, or NOT here, nor there but in other dimensions… The world of the infinitely small keeps changing and moving in this dimension and out of this dimension… Why would it be different for us?
And what does that have to do with me giving birth, you may ask?
Quantum Physics has everything to do with giving birth in bliss, free of pain… because it demonstrates to the average gal that what we see is just the tip of the iceberg…. our whole being is not limited to an assembly of atom and molecules, even if most amazingly assembled, I’ll give you that! The essence of who we are is in the unseen… The energy that holds it together! That which you could call “Life Force”, “Unconditional Love”, “God” or “Source”, or many, many other names. When you give birth, it is not only a bundle of flesh and blood responding to hormones, it is that life expression in its ultimate power of creation… Can you see that?
Quantum physics gives us proofs that our thoughts are things as real and as powerful as any other thing around us. Thoughts influence and create our reality. Quantum physics shows us that an outside observer to any situation DOES change the outcome (the physical reality). Translate: how you feel at birth and what you think makes a difference in the unfolding of the birth process! What other people in the room (nurses, midwives, doctors, husbands, doulas, family members) think, feel and believe influences the way your birth unfolds too. Knowingly or unknowingly!
So, if you become a master of your thoughts and learn how to shift your emotions and keep focusing on what you do want (rather that what everybody says it will be like), you can become the creator of a very blissful birth, free of pain and complications.
And, yes, it takes some time and practice… But it also is easier than you think… Because you already know this stuff… It’s just a question of re-finding and remembering it.
I dedicate my life to teaching pregnant couples and all birth professionals this “Quantum Birthing…”
Would you be interested?
Continue reading When Birth goes “Quantum”: Painfree Birth is Possible!
10 Benefits of Yoga during Pregnancy
Practicing a gentle type of yoga with an instructor trained in prenatal yoga and relaxation has multiple benefits when you are pregnant. Start as soon as you know you are pregnant and commit to practice regularly. A minimum of once a week with the instructor and then 1 or 2 of your favorite poses everyday is best so that it becomes automatic for you… Your posture, the way you breathe and the body awareness in general change very quickly when you pay attention…
Prenatal Yoga:
- Brings awareness of the physical changes in the body week after week.
- Gives room for your baby to develop, increases physical comfort.
- Loosens the pelvis, helps orient baby in the best position for birth.
- Builds-up stamina (may help slow down your heartbeat).
- Increases breathing capacity, may help lower blood pressure.
- Prevents or eliminates leg cramps & backache.
- Increases awareness of your emotions and desires concerning labor and birth.
- Allows you to connect with your baby more deeply.
- Improved sleeping pattern and quality of sleep
- Often provides shorter, easier labor & more comfortable birth
