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Why does Natural Childbirth often create Outrage in the Female Community?

Jessica Alba gave birth naturally!

Googling “Natural Childbirth” is always interesting! As I was playing with it the other day, I found this 2 year-old BBC-News article in which a male midwife proclaimed that “childbirth pain is a good thing”.  Though, I think I got his point (no medication is better for mom and babies), he expressed  it so poorly that it was drowned in chauvinism and triggered only controversy and outrage. I think it might be the journalist’s doing. But it’s irrelevant… The point is that “Natural Childbirth” produces “outrage” more often than not. Just read the comments on VS model Gisele’s painfree birth or those of Jessica Alba‘s natural birth and you will see what I mean…
Why do you think that is?
In an attempt to answer this question, let me tell you about the story of a client of mine. In my early years of practice as a doula, this client of mine had a very comfortable labor except for the last hour when she received pitocin in her I.V. She was very close to giving birth and she “made it” without pain medication! Details are unimportant for the message I mean to convey but the most important thing was her elation at the moment and the pride and self-worth she carried for months after the birth. Now this is the interesting part, she admitted to me a few months later that she could not tell her friends and even some of her relatives about how easy her birth was (it was a 12-hour labor with only the last hour being “challenging” in terms of comfort which by me is not that easy but to her it was). Each time she would attempt to talk about it, she would feel the uneasiness in the group, women looking away or down, avoiding eye contact. No one wanted to hear it, and she became ashamed of mentioning her experience and refrained herself from sharing the wonderful feelings it gave her… Again, why do you think telling your great experience of birth triggers such reaction IN WOMEN?
In this case, my clients’ friends were well-educated, upper class you would say, and all had medicated birth, many ended up with a c-section. I don’t think any of them had hired a doula and they had taken the hospital childbirth class. Just like the majority of couples in this country… And please, understand that there is no judgment on my part in women’s choice for birth. I am just wondering if they (the majority) don’t care or don’t believe in unmedicated, undisturbed birth, why do they get so upset to hear about those other women who experience something so different that it seems made up fantasy!?
I have my own idea about it but I really would like to know what you think, all of you out there, reading and learning about natural childbirth. I know the curiosity is there! I know many don’t want to accept the only choice the healthcare system is giving us… But then what is so upsetting about hearing or reading the wonderful stories of painfree (or almost) childbirth?
Don’t we have an obligation to let the world know? Don’t we need to get ALL the information out, not only what the society declares acceptable? If we (women who have experienced or witnessed blissful, undisturbed births) tell our stories, at least, the newly pregnant women have a chance of making the best decision aware of all their options, all that’s possible!

Nothing is worst in life then regret! So lets get the information out for all women BEFORE they experience childbirth so there will never be another “I wish I had known this BEFORE!”

After that the choice is entirely yours!

4 Comments

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  1. Randall - October 4, 2010 at 1:47 pm

    I think it is a comon human experience to make one’s experience wrong especially when our experience failed to meet our expectations. Our feeling bad seems tied to the illusion that we are isolated or alone in our journey. We are of course inseperable and one person’s triumph is, in fact, shared by all.

    • admin - October 4, 2010 at 3:28 pm

      My husband never seizes to amaze me! His insight and understanding of human nature is so profound… That is why I want him teaching with us (Barbara Harper and I) to give all birth professionals and all of you “natural women” the best of the best support at birth, and before and after too!

  2. Tracey - October 9, 2010 at 7:13 am

    Nadine I love your posts! This is a very, very good question indeed. I think positive natural birth stories might bring up feelings of loss for some women who didn’t achieve them. I have heard negative natural birth stories as well, but …not very many. Women need to accept that we should be able to share our experiences including the positive ones. We are certainly bombarded by negative stories all the time and are left to say nothing as to not make anyone feel worse about the experience. When medical interventions might have been the cause of negative experiences these women have to accept those choices which might be difficult. On the other hand when a woman is on cloud nine about her experience it seems to be so foreign to people that they doubt it or try to stifle it. That is
    saying something.

    • admin - October 9, 2010 at 11:51 am

      Yes, Tracey, I agree! It is difficult for women to accept that they may not have chosen the best road… If they only would see that -1- no one is judging them for their choices (except themselves), -2- perhaps that is precisely that attitude (we may call “denial”) that perpetuates the trend…and -3- they can always reverse the “trauma” that this particular experience created in their body and the emotional impact it still carries!
      Anybody found themselves there before?

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