September 2011 Archives
No B.S.: Having The Birth You Want Takes Work! Part 2
In last week’s blog, we discovered why it takes concentrated effort to get the birth you want! So what do you do? Where do you start?
Time for some practical answers!
First, let’s reframe… ’cause no one wants or needs more work, right? In my one-on-one classes, I always use the word “PLAY” in stead of “work” as in homeplay (instead of homework) because of the heavy emotional charge of the word “work” (same as “labor” by the way).
Deep belly breathing is a calming and grounding!
So here is some homeplay for you: you can make it fun and light!
- Do your research! Read books (see our bookstore for my personal preferences and recommendations) or find lots of info online: read the articles on this site (back pain relief, hot bath guidelines, epidural side effect, self-hypnosis, etc.) or use the search box with key words and check out the links to other great website we like.
- Talk to your husband, decide what you want and commit to it! We are going to call that “The Birth You Want” or TBYW
- Organize your “support people” around TBYW. Choose a caregivers that supports your vision and will be there to hep you rather than impose a routine medical model on you. Interview and hire a doula that supports TBYW.
- Write a detailed birth plan: not too long but covering labor, birth and immediate after birth thinking about what is best for the baby’s best start.
- Choose a childbirth preparation program that empowers you, provides additional information and teaches you skills that are in agreement with TBYW. In doubt, go back to what made you decide on “that” birth in the first place.
- Find and commit to a regular (that means minimum once a week) “grounding” practice like yoga (prenatal or gentle), tai chi chuan, qigong, meditation or others… Breathing is an integral part of all these ancient practices and, yes, also an integral part in the process of grounding! (I am working on an article with video demos on pranayama- the ancient art of breathing life force).
- Set 10-15 minutes every day to connect with your baby in the womb. Use your imagination, gentle touch, talking, singing, even reading to your baby. Even more fun to do together with your husband or life partner.
Ten minutes a day of "baby connect": make it fun and playful!
- Self-hypnosis, guided imagery relaxation, Quantum Focusing® and visual daydreaming are all very beneficial in learning how to find your place of inner peace within and relax deeply any time you wish. I teach many “mindfulness” and centering fun and easy practices in my childbirth preparation program called “Quantum Birthing”. For a weekly (or even daily) practice, in bed at night or any time during the day download the free mp3 available on this website.
Try some of these, add your own ideas, let me know how it works for you…
Happy Pregnancy!
Continue reading No B.S.: Having The Birth You Want Takes Work! Part 2
No B.S.: Having The Birth You Want Takes Work! Part 1
Why do you have to WORK on having the birth you want?
It’s not a question, it’s actually an answer! I just wanted to get it out right upfront: if you want something different, unconventional and empowering for the birth of your child…, it is going to take preparation and dedicated time and effort from the moment you know you are pregnant!
Imagine, daydream, plan and relax!
When I say it is going to be “work” what I mean is that, there is a certain amount of ACTION required. It is not physically demanding (not more than the normal changes occurring in any pregnant body!), it is more of a conscious decision and willingness to “find out” -information-, research -more information- and practice -relaxation, self-hypnosis, yoga or other mind/body techniques- on a consistent basis.
Why, you asked?
1) Because the “full” information is not that easy to get. The so-called, believed experts are not in a full disclosure mode for what ever reason. And the information you do get may be very confusing, one person contradicting the other. It could be very upsetting in a way that it doesn’t make sense to you. So, you the consumer have to ask the questions, be curious and be willing to search and sort through the jungle of information to find what is right FOR YOU! And that is work!
2) If you are reading this post, you are likely very “unconventional”, going against the flow in most of your important life decision, right? Well if “the flow” is not satisfying to you, than going the opposite direction is the right way FOR YOU, isn’t it? Unfortunately, you know (or even have experienced), when you do things “differently”, when you take the road less traveled or get somehow above the crowd, they always want to bring you back down. So, you probably WILL encounter critics, negative comments and judgments. You are going to need support people (hopefully you life partner and family) and you are going to need some (maybe new) skills to stay grounded and confident in the midst of all that turmoil… And that is work!
3) Last of all: YOU! You are your worst enemy in this situation as in any situation! Your self-doubt and old fears (or new fears) and perhaps also the ones you picked up along the way from friends and family are going to “get to you”. What I called the “monkey” mind: the little voice inside your head that always brings you down, judges and criticizes when you have some beginning of a success… The monkey mind is going to scare you and will make you want to give up. There are techniques and practices that help you quiet it down and reconnect with that inner wise part of you, and empowers you… And that definitely is work!
Keep in your mind the wonderful picture of why you are doing all this and putting this much effort for these 9 monhs! Your beautiful baby deserves the best of your attention and dedication. Remember, the quality of life in the womb does make a difference in the adult life, research is proving it!
See you next week for Part 2: The Practical Answers!
Continue reading No B.S.: Having The Birth You Want Takes Work! Part 1
SEE ONLY LOVE: A Clue To Healing Emotional Trauma!
In the course of this Summer I underwent intense “training” and life readjustment! Some of you may know my husband got in a motorcycle accident! Relax! He is ok! He actually got out with very little physical harm but the event itself pushed him into “awakening”! See Sonia Choquette’s new book to help you if you are at that point in your life! There is a free “kindle” edition for a limited time!
"... drawn into a fast learning spiral!"
As his life partner, best friend and preferred helper/healer, I too was drawn into a fast learning spiral… I had been thinking, reading and “asking” for guidance in healing trauma (especially emotional trauma from birth) and there before me lied many of the answers. From the energetic approach and the “helper’s” way of “holding the space” for healing, to the unbelievable extend of the impact it (the trauma) has on one’s life and how it is all interconnected to the point where healing one aspect uncovers and potentially heals many others, older, forgotten ones.
I could go on in long and large for many pages (and you will see the impact of my discoveries in the future work that unfolds in the next year or two) BUT, for now here is in a nut shell: “See Only Love”.
Click on the image to read more about the "angel cards"
“See only Love” is the name of one of the cards from Doreen Virtue‘s “Daily Guidance from your Angels” deck. I picked that card today! It says “Look past the seeming errors, mistakes, and misunderstandings, and see only the love within each person (including yourself)…”
I realized how much I had done “that” in the past few weeks and how it is one key (if not the most important one) to healing emotional trauma! The truth is, no matter who the other person is (a spouse, a child, a friend, a client,….), they are already blaming themselves so much.
The blame and guilt keep the “trauma” energy trapped in stead of letting it just go through! Unconditional love and compassionate understanding allow that “healing space” for them to let it go! I remember clearly, in the ER with my husband in shock, his expression changing and my “feeling” was like a bubble had just burst!
So when your toddler does his next “booboo”, remember… “See only love”! When your next client “fails” to follow her birth plan… “Se only love”. When YOU make your next “oops”,… “See yourself only with love, as love, and loved”! Pick up the pieces and keep going with a lighter step…Perhaps!
We always are someone’s “healer”!
What’s your story?
Continue reading SEE ONLY LOVE: A Clue To Healing Emotional Trauma!
